Resolution to Reality Archives - Define Me Wellness https://definemewellness.ca/category/resolution-to-reality/ Personal Training | Durham Region's Personal Training Destination Fri, 10 Apr 2015 16:23:19 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.1 2015: The Year You Reshape Your Well-Being (not necessarily your waistline) https://definemewellness.ca/2015-the-year-you-reshape-your-well-being-not-necessarily-your-waistline-2/ https://definemewellness.ca/2015-the-year-you-reshape-your-well-being-not-necessarily-your-waistline-2/#respond Wed, 07 Jan 2015 11:23:31 +0000 https://definemewellness.ca/?p=1288 Happy New Year! I hope 2015 is off to a good start for you. Do you have resolutions or intentions for the year ahead? I do. But I have to admit, this time of year can sometimes be a bit triggering for me. Triggering in the way that I find myself frustrated and angry by […]

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change-ahead

Happy New Year! I hope 2015 is off to a good start for you. Do you have resolutions or intentions for the year ahead? I do. But I have to admit, this time of year can sometimes be a bit triggering for me. Triggering in the way that I find myself frustrated and angry by all the diet propaganda that inevitably follows most marketing and cultural messages regarding New Year Resolutions. But then, I had a personal Epiphany…

An epiphany is like an “A-HA” that shifts the way you think about something. 

This year I decided to do things differently, to think differently. Me getting angry at a $60+ billion giant, well-oiled marketing machine and allowing myself to be triggered, just drains my energy and does not serve me or anyone. Instead, to quote Gabby Bernstein, “I choose love, instead of fear.” I can’t force anyone to see things my way, just as much as the diet industry can’t force me to return to a lifestyle of deprivation, obsessive exercise and self-criticism.

My intention this year is to refrain from reacting to that messaging.  To just take a deep breath, do my work the way I feel moved to serve and let the actions of others not set me off course.  Put the focus where it’s important: my health and well-being and what I believe is my ultimate purpose in life (i.e.: this) 😉

I ran a campaign last month on Twitter and Facebook with the hashtag #MyEpiphany. The intent was to help folks find a more positive alternative to setting and achieving those 2015 wellness-related resolutions (if inclined to set them).  Here are some interesting discoveries (some my own and some from followers/ friends/ colleagues):

  • Deciding to retire from Judo because my need to win revolved more around my weight and less around my sports achievement
  • When I realized my beliefs around food, weight and exercise were harming, not helping my well-being
  • Discovering that only I know what’s best for my health and well-being. I just need to be willing to listen
  • When I decided resolutions to diet/lose X # of lbs were an ineffective use of my time and energy
  • Throwing out my scale!
  • Another #MyEpiphany for me was discovering intuitive eating as a more body-positive and self-loving approach to mealtimes
  • #MyEpiphany was realizing food preoccupation, weight control, and over exercising are usually symptoms of something else…
  • Exercising isn’t only good for my physical well being but essential to my mental and emotional well being
  • When I decided resolutions to diet/lose X # of lbs were an ineffective use of my time and energy
  • When I discovered #HealthAtEverySize, a non-diet and truly holistic approach to mine and my clients well-being.Woman_mountain_sun.ashx_
  • Health is subjective.
  • Did you know the long-term success of diets is only 5%?!? Hmmmm…
  • There are umpteenth reasons to exercise that do not involve the perceived need to reshape the body.
  • What could you be doing differently? Have it come from a place of self-acceptance, care and love.
  • Make it about the overall benefits you seek – improved energy, more mobility, less pain/stress – not the numbers on the scale.
  • Setting goals: I focus on behaviours I need/want to change to create MY best health

Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below.  I’d like to know…

What’s your Epiphany around your health and wellness? How might you do things differently this year? How are you going to reshape your well-being without the diet?

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Resolution to Reality Series: Being SMART 2 (or too) https://definemewellness.ca/resolution-to-reality-series-being-smart-2-or-too/ https://definemewellness.ca/resolution-to-reality-series-being-smart-2-or-too/#respond Mon, 07 Jan 2013 17:29:34 +0000 https://definemewellness.ca/?p=489 Let’s put aside, just for a moment, all of those tactical goal-setting steps we addressed over this past week and bring it back to the core of why we’re even setting resolutions for the upcoming year… There is just one reason.  YOU! We’re planning and strategizing our resolutions simply because we want to make life […]

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Let’s put aside, just for a moment, all of those tactical goal-setting steps we addressed over this past week and bring it back to the core of why we’re even setting resolutions for the upcoming year…
It's all about you!
It’s all about you!

There is just one reason.  YOU! We’re planning and strategizing our resolutions simply because we want to make life better for ourselves.  In this last post of the Resolution to Reality Series, I’m re-labeling the SMART goal setting acronym (from yesterday’s post) with YOU being at the centre of its meaning and purpose:

S is for Self-Love: Above anything else, your goals need to have an intent of self-love and kindness.

M is for Mindfulness: Be mindful of what you say to yourself.  Notice what your body is trying to tell you.  And listen to those internal cues.  Try a mindfulness meditation.  Start by focusing on your breath.  Be a curious observer to all that is going on within and surrounding the mind.  Imagine the negative thoughts floating or melting away.

A is for Affirming:  Be sure you affirm your greatness.  Always! Begin each day with a deep breath and a kind word or two for yourself.  Looking in the mirror and saying “I love you” is a great start.

R  is for Relax: Sure you need some structure in your goal setting but temper that with some flexibility.  Relax! With change comes ups and downs; sometimes you’ve gotta just go with the flow.

T is for Try: You know the saying “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again”. Don’t beat yourself up.  If a goal does not serve you in a positive way, either reframe it so that it does or find another goal.

I hope this blog series has helped you find some ways to plan your resolutions for the year.  Whatever you do, may it be a positive and uplifting journey of self-awareness, self-compassion and sheer joy 🙂

If you’re interested in taking those positive resolutions and making them happen, join Michelle at her Resolution to Reality Workshop.  Click here to find out more. 

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Resolution to Reality Series: Finding a Theme in our Dreams https://definemewellness.ca/resolution-to-reality-series-finding-a-theme-in-our-dreams/ https://definemewellness.ca/resolution-to-reality-series-finding-a-theme-in-our-dreams/#respond Thu, 03 Jan 2013 21:53:03 +0000 https://definemewellness.ca/?p=439 From the previous posts in our Resolution to Reality series we’ve got some ideas and we’ve reframed them to be more positive.   Now we have to decide what resolutions are of the highest priority for us.  If you ended up with a large list from the first segment, It Starts with a Dream, looking at the […]

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From the previous posts in our Resolution to Reality series we’ve got some ideas and we’ve reframed them to be more positive.   Now we have to decide what resolutions are of the highest priority for us.  If you ended up with a large list from the first segment, It Starts with a Dream, looking at the list now might seem a little overwhelming.  We’ll just stress out if we put pressure on ourselves to do it all! That’s why we need to do the following:
Bucketing our dreams into themes is a great start to getting clarity on what it is we truly want for ourselves in the year ahead.
Bucketing our dreams into themes is a great start to getting clarity on what it is we truly want for ourselves in the year ahead.
  1. Categorize the list of things you identified in that brainstorming activity into similar buckets.  Maybe start by using a different colour highlighter or pen to circle the ones that seem similar or linked in some way.
  2. Create a theme.  Maybe they are life categories such as Personal, Professional, Family, Health, Finances, etc.  Or maybe it is more of a vision you have for your life in general.  For example, maybe you want to focus on gaining more Joy, Abundance, Self-Acceptance, etc.
  3. Identify which categories hold the most importance to you.  What do you gravitate to or feel compelled to accomplish? Those are probably going to be the priority ones that you want to focus on for the year.  In my upcoming workshop, we’ll do an exercise to help sort that out for you.
  4. Try to further segment the list of ideas in each of the categories as tasks, short-term wins and long-term wins.  The difference:
    • Tasks (T) are usually quick hits that you would perform weekly or just once, being able to complete them within a day or so.
    • Short-term goals (ST) are usually achieved within one to two months.
    • Both tasks and short term goals should tie in to the bigger objective, the long-term goals.
    • Long term goals (LT) may span a year or more and can seem insurmountable at first.  Breaking these longer objectives into smaller, more manageable, short term goals and tasks will help keep you motivated and on track.

Breaking down all of your hopes and dreams into actionable steps is really helpful in getting you to a place where you will see those resolutions come to fruition in 2013.  We’ll cover that even more so in the days ahead.  In the meantime, set aside some time, grab a tea and start journaling on the above.  I’m here if you need help.  Just leave a comment below 😉

If you’re interested in taking those positive resolutions and making them happen, join Michelle at her Resolution to Reality Workshop.  Click here to find out more.

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Resolution to Reality Series: Reframing the Negativity https://definemewellness.ca/resolution-to-reality-series-reframing-the-negativity/ https://definemewellness.ca/resolution-to-reality-series-reframing-the-negativity/#respond Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:09:53 +0000 https://definemewellness.ca/?p=422 Yesterday’s post was all about dreaming your goals.  I hope you dreamed BIG! Our next step in this weeklong Resolution to Reality Blog Series is to reframe the wording in our list. When you were brainstorming all of the possibilities for 2013 resolutions, did the Inner Critic appear? You know the voice that says “can’t […]

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Yesterday’s post was all about dreaming your goals.  I hope you dreamed BIG! Our next step in this weeklong Resolution to Reality Blog Series is to reframe the wording in our list.
We need to move in a more positive direction if we're going to realize those resolutions.
We need to move in a more positive direction if we’re going to realize those resolutions.

When you were brainstorming all of the possibilities for 2013 resolutions, did the Inner Critic appear? You know the voice that says “can’t do it”, “won’t do it”, “stop doing x and stop doing z”.  Do some of your resolutions sound a little something like this:

  • Lose weight
  • Remove all bad foods from the kitchen
  • Reduce debt

It’s an all or nothing approach that sets us up to fail.  The negative resolutions are all about taking away without any room for balance or moderation.  No wonder most resolutions don’t make it past the first 30 days! And then we’re left thinking of “Oh well, maybe I’ll try again next year”.  So, let’s reframe those thoughts and words into more positive actions by:

  1. Reviewing your list of ideas and noting anywhere you see a negative word or tone in your resolution
  2. Choose to either cross the negativity off your list completely
  3. Or change the wording to be more positive

For example, the “reduce debt” example above could be re-worded to be “Accumulate more cash flow”.  Doesn’t that sound more exciting and motivating?

Can you do it? Try to take a negative resolution you’ve set for yourself and look for opportunities to make it more abundant thinking.  Then leave a comment below to let others know how you made out.

If you’re interested in taking those positive resolutions and making them happen, join Michelle at her Resolution to Reality Workshop.  Click here to find out more.  

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Resolution to Reality Series: Pulling it All Together https://definemewellness.ca/resolution-to-reality-series-pulling-it-all-together/ https://definemewellness.ca/resolution-to-reality-series-pulling-it-all-together/#respond Wed, 02 Jan 2013 17:52:02 +0000 https://definemewellness.ca/?p=373 Last I posted, we were Finding a Theme in Our Dreams.  Our resolutions are starting to take shape and we’re identifying some of the actions we will take to achieve them.  Think of it as your very own Personal Improvement Project Plan.  Today’s post builds on the idea of defining the long-term goals,  and it’s […]

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Last I posted, we were Finding a Theme in Our Dreams.  Our resolutions are starting to take shape and we’re identifying some of the actions we will take to achieve them.  Think of it as your very own Personal Improvement Project Plan.  Today’s post builds on the idea of defining the long-term goals,  and it’s something I started practicing when I was in the corporate world, both in my professional and personal endeavours – using the SMART formula in objective setting.
Setting SMART goals is a popular concept within the corporate community. But it can be applied to personal goals too!
Setting SMART goals is a popular concept within the corporate community. But it can be applied to personal goals too!

There are a few different variations to the SMART acronym.  The one I’ve used for myself, as well as with my clients is: Specific, Measurable, Action Oriented, Realistic and Time Bound.  For every long-term goal you create, it should have all 5 elements of SMART in order for it to be a goal you are more likely to achieve.  By now, if you’ve been following the tips in the Resolution to Reality Series, you should be at a point where you have picked 2 – 3 resolutions (AKA: long-term goals) you want to move forward with.  Review those resolutions against the SMART philosophy and see if you are well on your way or if you need to make some minor revisions 😉

  • Specific: What do you want to achieve? It needs to be something tangible that you can easily identify what success looks like when the goal is reached.  You need to dream it, visualize it and answer the questions who, what, when, where and why.  Get the goal to as detailed a statement as possible.
  • Measurable: As a Personal Trainer and Health at Every Size advocate, the Measurable part of SMART has always been a challenging concept for me to work through.  On the one-hand, I can definitely see the benefit in measuring something in order to track your progress.  However, I get stumped when the goal is one around health and fitness.  Generally, if we’re making a health or fitness goal, there tends to be an element of changing one’s body shape or size.  And the most common measurements to use would be to step on a scale, figure out body fat percentage and/or use a measuring tape to track body composition changes.  All of these lead us down a path of negativity, because inevitably there comes a day/week/month where we do not hit that target and we are frustrated, discouraged and see ourselves as failures.  Instead, if one of your resolutions is centred around health and wellness:
    • Please don’t make it about the weight!
    • Instead try to create your own scale focused on how you feel and what’s going on from the inside/out.
    • Use internal measurements for assessing your stress, energy and/or hunger levels.
    • Just remember to be honest in your assessments and clear on what those personal rankings mean.
  • Action Oriented: Here is where you need to specify the activities or tasks you will be doing to reach your goal; week after week, month after month, until that resolution is reached.
  • Realistic: Identifying attainable objectives will get you closer to reaching that longer range goal without depleting you physically and mentally.  For example, setting a goal of completing a 5k race in 3 months before completing a half marathon by the end of the year, still challenges you but makes it more likely you’ll get to that bigger race if you take the baby steps first.
  • Time bound: Set a date and mark it on the calendar to keep you focused and on-task.

If you’re interested in taking those positive resolutions and making them happen, join Michelle at her Resolution to Reality Workshop.  Click here to find out more. 

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Resolution to Reality Series: It Starts with a Dream https://definemewellness.ca/resolution-to-reality-series-it-starts-with-a-dream/ https://definemewellness.ca/resolution-to-reality-series-it-starts-with-a-dream/#respond Tue, 01 Jan 2013 22:21:33 +0000 https://definemewellness.ca/?p=391 The dust (or snow) has settled from NYE celebrations and now it’s time to focus on our dreams and plans for 2013! This week, I’m bringing you a few tips from my Resolution to Reality workshop, all about fine tuning your resolutions and all while keeping it fun and positive (see my Top 10 Resolution ideas for more […]

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Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!

The dust (or snow) has settled from NYE celebrations and now it’s time to focus on our dreams and plans for 2013! This week, I’m bringing you a few tips from my Resolution to Reality workshop, all about fine tuning your resolutions and all while keeping it fun and positive (see my Top 10 Resolution ideas for more on that).

First tip of the year: Start dreaming! Dream of the possibilities and desires you may have for improving all aspects of your life, without any limitations.  Here are some steps to take:

  1. Start with a Loving Kindness Meditation by taking deep cleansing breaths and sending nothing but loving thoughts to yourself.
  2. When ready, grab a piece of paper and write all thoughts and ideas that pop up.
  3. Try not to allow your inner critic to negate, judge or rationalize the thoughts that enter your mind.
  4. But, if that inner critic does not quiet for you, write the ideas down anyways.  We’ll work on pushing the inner critic’s negativity out later 😉
  5. Take your time with it.  Give yourself at least 15 minutes with this brainstorming activity.

Your dreams may surprise you and you’ll probably come up with a page full of them (I know I did).  If you struggle to come up with ideas, look for some inspiration.  I found some in this post from Go Girlfriend.

Know that anything is possible.  A favourite quote of mine comes from Walt Disney “If you can dream it, you can do it”.  If he could imagine and bring to fruition a place as magical as Disney World, than we can all find it within ourselves to imagine our own greatness.  So, go on and get dreaming!!

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