What can I say? This is the first post in almost a year and much has occurred since then in the way of my professional and personal development. While I continued working with clients during this time, I was intentional with how much work I took on in relation to prioritizing my self-care, my studies, and my family. Because self-care is important in sustaining us day-to-day, yet it’s especially necessary when moving through a significant life change.

Two years ago, I made a decision to return to school to fulfill a long-time goal of becoming a social worker and therapist. I have been working in the space of body image, embodiment, disordered eating, and joyful movement for nearly a decade. But I recognized I needed to enhance my skills, grow as a professional (and get the credentials) to fully realize my purpose in thoroughly supporting those with eating disorders and other mental health illnesses.

This change brought some challenges… Hello to managing the family schedule, the kids’ extracurricular activities,  and being confronted with the troubling impact of my perfectionism!

Conversely, it brought some wonderful gifts as well. Most notably, my school-aged children got to see their mamma thriving in the school environment and going after her dreams.

But who I am is constant

However, throughout it all, I have realized:

• I am more malleable than I thought I was
• Who I am at my core will never change

In my last field placement at school, my supervisor had me take the VIA survey of character strengths. A tool developed by Positive Psychology researchers, this survey provides respondents with an itemized list of their most to least practiced character strengths. The idea being – if you know your strengths you can intentionally draw on them more regularly in life. And drawing on your strengths can help you better manage life’s inevitable changes and difficulties. For me, I discovered my top 5 are:

1. Industry, diligence, and perseverance
2. Gratitude
3. Modesty and humility
4. Caution, prudence, and discretion
5. Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith

While my results were not a surprise to me, they were certainly reaffirming. These traits make up who I am. They are assets, not deficits. And I want to move forward in life acting from my strengths. I captured my top 5 in the above image and made it my phone’s screensaver. Anytime I glance at my phone (which is eh-hem, often), I will be reminded of my strengths. And I will need these reminders because…

I am still on the path

I am still on the path of learning, of growing, of changing. Very soon I will accept my Social Services Worker diploma and become a member of the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers (stay tuned for changes to the Define Me services as a result). But, this September, I will continue my formal education at Trent University in pursuing my Bachelors of Social Work.

Learning, growth, change is a lifelong endeavour for me. It is a lifelong reality for all of us. What will you do to leverage YOUR strengths and embrace change?

The post Leveraging Your Strengths and Embracing Change appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Over the last few blogs, I’ve introduced you to some concepts for eating disorder recovery and healing. These practices stem from:

• My personal experience
• The way I engage with clients
• And the presentation I gave this past May at the NEDIC conference: Moving Body Acceptance Off of the Mat and Into the World

In Part I of this series, we talked about creating a space of safety for healing. And in Part II, we cultivated a heartfelt intention to keep us rooted in our journey.  Finally, here in Part III, I will take you through a guided relaxation where we’ll combine all learnings from this 3-part Body Acceptance series.

Can Stillness Bring Change?

I firmly believe so. Prior to discovering the practice of Restorative Yoga and Yoga Nidra, I used to believe change came from constantly moving > striving > doing stuff. Even in my ED recovery I felt I needed to check off the “tick boxes” of the supposed steps in recovery. But now, I realize personal growth and change is not so linear. And lying dormant isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes the most profound changes come from being still and getting in touch with the deepest part of ourselves –  very slowly and thoughtfully.

Enter: The Practice

“There is a part of you that is whole, healthy and not needing to be fixed.”

~ Richard Miller, psychologist and founder of iRest

I believe becoming more accepting of your body means practicing it, regularly. And I don’t want you to waste one more minute in theory! So I’m going to leave this 30-minute guided relaxation right here for you to explore, on your own time, in your own healing space.

Let us know how it goes! <3

The post The Body Acceptance Series Part III: Putting Theory Into Practice appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

WIIFM stands for “What’s In It For Me”. And it’s most notably referenced in the marketing and selling of a product or service. But in Part II of this Body Acceptance series (click here for Part I), I’m borrowing the WIIFM phrase to explore the deep-seeded reasons why someone seeks healing and recovery. I’m particularly drawing on my presentation last month at the NEDIC conference “Moving Body Acceptance Off Of The Mat & Into The World”.

WIIFM is a marketing approach to highlight the key selling features that will attract consumers to buy what a business is selling. It drives the promotion strategies used. And, if done well, continually focusing on the consumer benefits when advertising brings higher sales.

However, the “buying and selling” of eating disorder treatment is not easily strategized or packaged. Healing and recovery on this front is deeply personal, with umpteenth reasons for seeking it out. There is no cookie cutter approach. But, getting a clear understanding of the reasons why you are starting on the ED recovery path can:

1. Help articulate your recovery goals and intentions going forward
2. Be an anchor to what keeps you going, especially when the changes you’re making feel difficult

What am I longing for?

Selling anybody, on anything, is not the way I operate. The resolve to heal has to come personally from within. And no amount of persuasion or marketing tactics is going to sell you on the need/desire for healing.

Instead, when clients start working with us, the suggestion is that they ask themselves why they are here in this stage of their recovery journey. In other words, WIIFM is reframed with questions like these:

• Where does the eating disorder make life difficult/challenging?
• What are some negative feelings/experiences that the eating disorder creates?
• How are these behaviours not serving me at this time?
• When the eating disorder is no longer a guiding force in my life, what does that look like?
• Or… what am I longing for?

When participants and I pondered these questions at the NEDIC conference, there was a general consensus that life with an ED is anxiety-provoking, nerve-wrecking, surrounded by so much fear and a feeling of being overpowered by the ED thoughts/behaviours. But, on the other side of that,  might be freedom, personal trust and inner peace. And remembering the personal intention (the longing) at the forefront of the recovery process, is one way to solidify one’s commitment to healing.

From “May I….” to “I am”

Practices such as meditation, reflection and journaling can be effective tools for disrupting the ED. Loving Kindness Meditation (LKM) is one type of attention that can guide us from a place of self-loathing to self-compassion. A LKM has the following recited phrases: “May I be safe; may I be healthy, may I be happy and may I live with ease.”  Therefore, it is a hope for healing, recovery, change.

However, if we tap into our heart’s deepest desire and use the yogic practice of Sankalpa, change becomes more imminent.

Sankalpa is Sanskrit for heartfelt intention, a solemn vow, your heart’s deepest desire. It typically has the following characteristics:

• A personal commitment
• Affirming, positive
• Rooted in the present tense

In other words, your heartfelt intention is an anchor for where the recovery process will ultimately take you – realizing your true purpose in life.

Developing your Sankalpa (Heartfelt Intention)

1. Have a pen and paper handy
2. Find a quiet place for reflection
3. Go back to the questions above in the What am I longing for? section.
4. Pay particular attention to what it is your heart is longing for
5. Keep your statement brief, something you can easily recall and recite to yourself often
6. Write it down
7. Close your eyes and repeat your Sankalpa to yourself several times
8. Sit for a while and feel how this statement shows up in the body

Crafting your Heartfelt Intention can take some time. Also, it doesn’t have to be perfect. But if you’re struggling to find one that works for you, here are a few examples to get you started:

• I am…
• I welcome all impressions as interesting notes of discovery
• I trust myself

Up next: Michelle will guide you through a Yoga Nidra practice. Stay tuned for this 20 – 30 minute guided relaxation, where we’ll combine all learnings from this 3-part Body Acceptance series.

The post The Body Acceptance Series Part II: The WIIFM of Healing & Recovery appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

The original presenter was unable to present on “Moving Body Acceptance Off Of The Mat And Into The World” so I was asked to facilitate it instead. A lofty goal, I think, to address all that is in that title, in only 75min. And so many directions the presentation could have taken! But I chose to:

1. Draw on my lived experience
2. Leverage my understanding on the concepts of neuroscience and embodiment
3. And weave throughout some of my favourite embodiment tools (and there are many) in an effort to encourage self-discovery, healing and change

This 3-part series is to share that presentation (and possibly more) here, with you! I hope it will intrigue and inspire colleagues, clients/patients, caregivers and those in recovery in the complex field of Eating Disorders (EDs).

Let’s Explore, Question and Discover

In this 3-part series we will address, what I believe, are helpful components for recovery and healing:

1. Designing a “mat” space as a personal labratory
2. Asking the ultimate question: “What is it I and/or my client are longing for?
3. Testing various tools/practices for engaging with the body in an embodied way

So let’s explore the first component that can be a starting off point in the journey…

Our “mat space” as our personal laboratory

EDs and body image disturbances are ailments that promote disconnection from the natural, integrated wisdom between the mind and body. In recovery, we are attempting to repair that separation. And yet connecting to the body experience again can be very scary. 

Neuroception: a term coined by Dr.Stephen Porges, describes neuroception as a wiring within our nervous system, interpreting the environments we’re in as places of safety or potential threat

If the intention is to gradually cultivate a sense of acceptance and connection for our bodies, then we need to feel safe to explore the body experience in a neutral way (I wrote more on body neutrality in this post).

One of the ways to create safety in ED recovery, is to begin with establishing boundaries for those explorations. The yoga mat can be a physical manifestation of that needed safe place. It can be a place  to practice new concepts. And when we are on our mat space it is:

• A judgment-free zone, where you don’t have to “be” or “do” anything
• And you approach the body and your noticed responses with sincere curiosity. I like to use the phrase “Hmm, isn’t that interesting!” whenever something comes up for me

A Ceremony: Creating Your Mat Space

In my NEDIC presentation, participants didn’t have an actual mat. And you don’t need one either. But you can map your “mat space” as your personal laboratory wherever you feel is best to do so:

1. A good place to create that space might be your bedroom
2. Stand in whichever space you choose
3. If you have a mat, roll it out in your chosen space. Or visualize a mat, in whatever shape and size feels necessary
4. Close your eyes, with arms spread out wide, take up space. Pause
5. Declare to yourself “This is my sanctuary. This is my anchor. This is my safe place”
6. Consider slowly and deliberately doing a 360 degree turn of your mat space
7. With arms stretched out as you turn, continue to repeat the above declaration
8. Once your mat space feels firmly designed for your personal explorations and comfort, complete the ceremony

Coming Soon: Part II of this Body Acceptance series will explore the question: What is it that I and/or my client are longing for? Until then, return to this safely (mat practice), slowly, gently and repeatedly

The post The Body Acceptance Series Part I: Creating the Space for Body Acceptance appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

The question of whether Reiki can help with eating disorders is one I have been recently asking myself. In fact, I have been thinking about Reiki’s place in ED treatment since launching my virtual recovery support program. Reiki is not usually part of everyday conversation.  Furthermore, it’s not on the top of the list of treatment options where health care is concerned. Mainstream skepticism is strong when it comes to energy healing practices. Why? Because the healing possibilities of Reiki (or other energy healing options) are difficult to quantify. And the skeptics are likely to describe Reiki as “woo-woo” and needing proof of effectiveness before considering its place in treatment.

What is Reiki?

Reiki is a gentle energy healing practice with the intention of bringing balance to your mind-body. I like to use this quote to describe Reiki’s purpose:

“Energy flows where attention goes.”  

As your practitioner, I am a conduit of energy for you, the client. I don’t have magical powers and I can’t foresee or promise a certain outcome. Instead, we both try to suspend judgment and trust in the idea of life happening for us (as opposed to life happening to us).

Energy healing sessions are held either remotely (aka: distance healing) or in-person.

• An in-person session involves the client lying on a massage table, fully clothed. Then, the practitioner places hands directly on or hovering over different points of the body
• A distance healing session does not require the receiver (client) to be present. Usually a picture, object or specific details (i.e.: name, age, issue/concern) about the individual are provided. And the practitioner focuses on the client details while sending them Reiki energy

So, is there a place for Reiki in ED Treatment?

The journey of healing and recovery is unique. And what is helpful for some, might not be as helpful for others. Let’s take a look first at what clients of mine have said about their Reiki sessions:

• Improved inner body awareness
• A sense of being grounded
• More feelings of being calm, at peace
• Less feelings of overwhelm/depression/anxiety

Now let’s look at some of the typical experiences of those struggling with EDs:

• Disconnection from the body? Yes
• A sense of being out of control? Yes
• Being at war with the body? Yes
• Feelings of overwhelm/fear/anger/anxiety/sadness/hatred? Yes

There does seem to be some parallels between the benefits of Reiki and what a person with an eating disorder needs to support recovery. While Reiki alone won’t completely heal the mind-body divide that an eating disorder magnifies, I believe it can be a nice compliment to traditional ED treatment. At the very least, it certainly couldn’t hurt to try.

Offering Free Reiki!

Finally, in honour of Eating Disorders Awareness Week, I’m offering free distance healing from Feb 1st – Feb 8th, 2017. Also, if you are local to the GTA or Durham Region, an in-person session may be scheduled on a Pay What Feels Best basis. Contact us to book your appointment.

Michelle Pitman is the founder and operator of Define Me Wellness. Most recently, Michelle has launched Under the Lilac Tree: a virtual program for eating disorder recovery and support. Click here to learn more about Michelle and her work.

The post #EDAW2017: Can Reiki Help with Eating Disorders? appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Eating Disorders Awareness Week (EDAW) starts NOW! Welcome. And thanks for joining me. At this time of year, there is always something I am doing to honour and raise awareness around eating disorders (EDs).  Writing tends to be a form of processing and healing for me.  And a means of support and encouragement for others (I hope). Whether it’s sharing my own struggle (like this post)… or my journey towards recovery (like in this post)… the intention is always to be real with my experience so that I might:

• Open a door to understanding for those who misunderstand EDs
• Or provide a glimmer of hope for healing for those who are working towards ED recovery

But my involvement in EDAW this year is much more! Without further ado, it starts with this kick off video. Watch to learn more about what I have planned:

The post Under the Lilac Tree Kick Off for #EDAW2017 appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

The Story Behind the Launch

I made my way down from the podium, onto the conference room floor, where audience members provided feedback on the presentation myself and colleague Kori Lichtfuss had just completed.  The presentation included a brief intro into my eating disorder history and some thoughts on my recovery.

As I finished chatting with folks, a young woman who had been waiting in the background approached me, with tears in her eyes, and softly whispered:

“What did you do to not relapse?”

It was one of the most difficult questions I think I had ever been asked in my life and I was so unsure how to respond.  I took a breath.  I looked into her eyes.  There was so much vulnerability for both of us in that moment and, standing on the other side of recovery, I had so much empathy for this women and all the pain and suffering the eating disorder had caused her.

She proceeded to tell me that she was in the middle of her 3rd relapse.  She was trying the best she could, on her own, to manage her symptoms while she anxiously waited for space to open up for an inpatient treatment program.  After providing her with some interim resources to search out, I asked permission to give her a hug and offered words of encouragement.  But what I didn’t realize in that moment was a seed being planted.

That vulnerable exchange between survivor and fighter was 18 months ago at a National Eating Disorders Conference.  Since then, I have found myself reflecting on it often and asking:

• Was there more that I could have done for her? AND
• How might I use my lived experience from ED diagnosis to recovery (and no relapse) to make a difference for those in it now?

Those questions have been at the centre of building a space for the ED community that is now ready to launch…

Welcome to Under The Lilac Tree

The first of its kind, Under the Lilac Tree is an online resource for your road to recovery.  You have already taken the first step by acknowledging the problem and seeking treatment.  This program’s intent is to fully support you while you wait.  We work together to reduce self-harming behaviours, managing the eating disorder before your admission to inpatient/outpatient treatment.

Under the Lilac Tree provides regular opportunities to check-in and explore opportunities for healing through:

• Creating small, yet meaningful goals
• Weekly coaching calls with a peer support worker (that’s me!)
• Weekly virtual sessions with a registered dietician
• Additional sessions and resources on restorative movement, mindfulness and self-care
• Ongoing support via email

Along with waiting for treatment, there might be additional barriers to accessing support on your ED recovery such as your location and financial resources.  That is why Under the Lilac Tree coaching and counselling is:

• Offering services virtually via Skype, phone and/or email
• Affordable, with packages starting at $399 (sliding scale available for those who qualify)
• Flexible with options for spreading out sessions (i.e.: bi-weekly instead of weekly, or other suitable frequency)

So there it is! What started as a whisper of an underlying need, became a labour of love that is now available to you and your loved ones.  If support in your ED healing journey is something you’re seeking, please reach out. I’m only a phone call or email away if you need me.

More to come in my next post where I’ll introduce you to our team and the core values that guide us in serving you as you move towards recovery.

The post Are You Waiting for Eating Disorder Treatment? Feeling Lost and Alone? This might help… appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Amanda’s Big Dream, written by Judith Matz and illustrated by Elizabeth Patch, tells the story of a young figure skater, Amanda, whose dream is to perform a solo act in her community’s Spring Ice Show.  But Amanda’s well-intentioned, though misguided coach suggests that, if Amanda wants to get the part, she needs to lose weight if she is going to be successful.

Unfortunately, this scenario is all too common for many children – thin or fat, in the athletic arena or elsewhere.  For example, body image related bullying (which includes bullying based on one’s size), is the most predominant form of bullying, as found in a 2006 Census report by the Toronto District School Board.  And, with the help of mainstream media, young children are exposed frequently to stigmatizing messages about weight and size, including the assumption that thinner is better with regards to health and even sports performance.  The familiar message of you can do and be anything you want with “practice, practice, practice” comes with the caveat of needing to fit into a certain aesthetic – the thin ideal.

Amanda’s Big Dream highlights how harmful talk regarding dieting and weight loss can be.  With a short, simple statement like “…if you lost a little weight…” a child’s dreams and sense of accomplishment can be swiftly crushed.

“Follow your dreams, whoever you are.  Follow your dreams and they’ll take you far.”

However, this sweet story also offers a well-guided lesson for us all, parents and children alike.  A compassionate doctor and supportive parents switch the focus to the positive healthy behaviours Amanda already engages in and encourage her to stay with her sport because she loves it so much.

Does Amanda continue anyway in the face of criticism? Does she go on to get the solo performance in the Spring Ice Show? For those answers, you’ll have to read the book

But I will say that it is so refreshing to see a more positive alternative, that touches on the Health At Every Size® principles in a relatable way and guides readers towards a more holistic view on living life and going after your dreams.   Plus, there are great resources shared at the end of the book and on this website.

Having children ages 5 and 7 that participate in sport, I see the critical importance of cultivating a positive body image and detaching the value placed on an ideal size or shape for success in sports and/or overall health.  Amanda’s Big Dream is a great starting point for opening up that dialogue with children and our communities.

The post Amanda’s Big Dream: A Book Review appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

“…provide an opportunity to identify those work-related hazards and risks that influence psychological health and safety in the workplace; ensuring a preventative approach to psychological harm or mental injury (i.e., from work-related stress or fatigue, or workplace harassment, including bullying and discrimination).”

Here is an issue that isn’t normally addressed in the workplace that can be an obstacle to an individual achieving good mental health – size acceptance and body image.

Remember in a recent post, I wrote about size bias being the last socially acceptable form of discrimination? It’s evident in education, healthcare and in the workplace too! I believe creating a psychologically safe work environment addresses weight bias.  If a workplace implements zero-tolerance policies for discrimination, harassment and bullying based on size, than it makes for a more comfortable place to work for people of all sizes.  And a more accepting work environment makes it easier for individuals to think more positive thoughts about their bodies, which only adds to good mental health.

Examples of policies that embrace a more size accepting approach:

1. Opting out of company-wide weight loss programs such as “Biggest Loser” challenges.  There are weight-neutral alternatives that can still have an impact on employee health and productivity without resorting to ineffective dieting strategies.
2. Ensure your organizations diversity practices and training include a component for size diversity too.
3. Provide office furniture that accommodates a variety of shapes and sizes (i.e.: sturdy, armless chairs with firm seat cushions).
4. Decorate the office walls, waiting areas and meeting rooms with pictures and artwork showing workers of all sizes that exemplify your organization’s mission statement and core values.
5. Create equal hiring and promotion opportunities for every BODY (instead of feeding into the cultural bias that larger people are lazy and unmotivated).

Final thought

Creating a safe workplace and helping employees be the best they can be in body and mind starts with establishing a culture of respect and acceptance for ALL.

Define Me is now offering a unique and comprehensive Workplace Wellness program for companies looking to make a difference in their organization’s overall health.  If you know of an organization that is looking for a workplace wellness solution, a program that engages employees and improves productivity, have them CONTACT US today.

The post CHWM Series Week One: Psychological Safety in the Workplace appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

The title of this year’s conference – Staying the Health at Every Size Course: Navigating the Weight Debate in the Evolving Healthcare Environment – was very fitting considering the American Medical Association’s recent decision to label obesity a disease.  Now, perhaps more than ever, we need alternative strategies to address health (without it always being about size).

Here were some common themes that resonated for me :

1. There is a wealth of knowledge within the ASDAH community! From mental health professionals, academics and dieticians to activists who want to take their personal experience with size discrimination to advocate for unbiased care.  HAES  (Health at Every Size) Experts have the experience and the research to support their efforts in turning the tides of “weight assumptions and discrimination” within our health care system and culture.

2. Obesity prevention campaigns do more harm than good, especially when those strategies are focused on our children.  The following banner posted at the conference spoke volumes with it’s speech balloon – “When we hear you say you want to get rid of childhood obesity, we feel like you want to get rid of us”.  We need curriculum in our schools that addresses weight stigma alongside strategies for living a balanced approach to healthy eating and joyful movement.  In the words of one of the presenters, Kathy Kater, we need to “teach kids to CARE instead of COMPARE”.

3. The war on obesity has made its way into the  boardroom.  There are workplace wellness programs in the US that use fees and penalties, primarily focused on weight loss and shaming employees into participating; all in an effort to reduce the company’s group benefit spending.  Legally, businesses are allowed to charge higher premiums to associates who do not participate in the program and/or who’s weight is not in a “desirable range”.  Not only is this intrusive and invading of an individual’s privacy but it further perpetuates weight stigma, suggesting an employee is not good enough unless they are at a certain weight.  A corporate wellness program, anywhere in the world, needs to be more than just a return on investment (ROI).  Workplace wellness can and should promote all facets of health, providing a supportive and caring framework from which associates can participate free from bias or criticism.  Only then will companies be able to attract and retain an engaged workforce.

4. There is a lot of evidence that suggests a weight-focused approach to health is more detrimental and can have long-term negative repercussions.  If we are to make this a more positive experience for all, we need to demonstrate how the current medical model (the idea that size and health are inextricably linked), is extremely flawed and counterproductive.  We also need to constantly show to the medical professionals the HAES alternative and it’s proven efficacy to better health .

5. Only you know your body best! Take charge and be the “CEO of your own health.”  I love this phrase! Such a simple but impactful statement.  Everybody is entitled to fair, judgment-free care at the doctors office, in the emergency room, in schools and at the office.  EVERY BODY.

The conference gave me lots to think about and added to my to-do list! I want to take what I learned in those 3 days and bring it to YOU and our community.  Because, couldn’t we all use a new way of defining and finding good health?

The post Top 5 Take-aways: A Health At Every Size Conference Report appeared first on Define Me Wellness.