June 2nd is World Eating Disorders Action Day. And I’ll be participating. I want to do my small part in getting the message out about the challenges that exist in getting appropriate care and treatment for eating disorders. Because it is not easy for those suffering from this life-threatening mental illness to:

• Have their symptoms and concerns be taken seriously
• Get a proper and quick diagnosis
• Access treatment and recovery support

World Eating Disorder Action Day launched in 2015 by a group of activists, professionals, caregivers, and survivors across the globe. You can learn more about their mission and vision here, as well as how you can participate on June 2nd.

We do act NOW

Activism efforts are helpful in mobilizing change in the field of eating disorder treatment and prevention. But it doesn’t have to be grandiose or exhaustive. In other words, your championing for change can involve actions that are big or small. Further, your efforts can be time extensive or time-limited. And you can:

• Offer your special talents to eating disorder spaces (i.e.: volunteer)
• Educate yourself
• Campaign for increased government funding
• Educate others
• Spend time with a person struggling with an eating disorder or their caregiver. Listen without judgment. Ask them what they need. And do your best to support them.

You can act now by joining the conversation online. Follow us on Instagram @utlilactree. And engage with the content being shared on June 2nd (on ours and other platforms). Additionally, search on the following hashtags to stay in the know: #showusyourpurple, #eatingdisorderscantaffordtowait, #wedoactnow.

Finally, there will be at least 7 posts on our Under the Lilac Tree Insta profile on June 2nd. Moreover, these posts will pose certain reflective questions related to how we can instigate change in the eating disorder field. And I would love to hear from you! Like, comment, and repost on World Eating Disorder Day posts to keep the conversation going. Let’s bring together as many voices as possible on June 2nd to brainstorm ideas for advocacy and change. See you there

The post World Eating Disorders Action Day is Here! June 2nd, 2019 appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

What can I say? This is the first post in almost a year and much has occurred since then in the way of my professional and personal development. While I continued working with clients during this time, I was intentional with how much work I took on in relation to prioritizing my self-care, my studies, and my family. Because self-care is important in sustaining us day-to-day, yet it’s especially necessary when moving through a significant life change.

Two years ago, I made a decision to return to school to fulfill a long-time goal of becoming a social worker and therapist. I have been working in the space of body image, embodiment, disordered eating, and joyful movement for nearly a decade. But I recognized I needed to enhance my skills, grow as a professional (and get the credentials) to fully realize my purpose in thoroughly supporting those with eating disorders and other mental health illnesses.

This change brought some challenges… Hello to managing the family schedule, the kids’ extracurricular activities,  and being confronted with the troubling impact of my perfectionism!

Conversely, it brought some wonderful gifts as well. Most notably, my school-aged children got to see their mamma thriving in the school environment and going after her dreams.

But who I am is constant

However, throughout it all, I have realized:

• I am more malleable than I thought I was
• Who I am at my core will never change

In my last field placement at school, my supervisor had me take the VIA survey of character strengths. A tool developed by Positive Psychology researchers, this survey provides respondents with an itemized list of their most to least practiced character strengths. The idea being – if you know your strengths you can intentionally draw on them more regularly in life. And drawing on your strengths can help you better manage life’s inevitable changes and difficulties. For me, I discovered my top 5 are:

1. Industry, diligence, and perseverance
2. Gratitude
3. Modesty and humility
4. Caution, prudence, and discretion
5. Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith

While my results were not a surprise to me, they were certainly reaffirming. These traits make up who I am. They are assets, not deficits. And I want to move forward in life acting from my strengths. I captured my top 5 in the above image and made it my phone’s screensaver. Anytime I glance at my phone (which is eh-hem, often), I will be reminded of my strengths. And I will need these reminders because…

I am still on the path

I am still on the path of learning, of growing, of changing. Very soon I will accept my Social Services Worker diploma and become a member of the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers (stay tuned for changes to the Define Me services as a result). But, this September, I will continue my formal education at Trent University in pursuing my Bachelors of Social Work.

Learning, growth, change is a lifelong endeavour for me. It is a lifelong reality for all of us. What will you do to leverage YOUR strengths and embrace change?

The post Leveraging Your Strengths and Embracing Change appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Eating Disorders Awareness Week (EDAW) is upon us once again. EDAW is a Canadian event led by the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC). And February 1st to 8th is an opportunity to highlight the problems with eating disorders.

I’m sad that:

• dieting, disordered eating and eating disorders are still a reality for many
• funding and approaches to ED treatment have not changed much
• many voices are not being validated or supported in the ED space

#7BillionSizes

This year NEDIC is using the hashtag #7BillionSizes to shed light on the fact that eating disorders do not discriminate. While at the same time, the systems that perpetuate them do. For example, here are a few misconceptions regarding eating disorders (ED) that you might be familiar with:

• they only happen in young white girls
• body size is a clear indication of ED symptoms
• anorexia and bulimia are the most common/serious ED types

My story held true to the first narrative. I was a young girl, thin and white. Therefore, I was recognized as someone who needed help. But that’s certainly not everyone’s story. Truth: eating disorders can affect anyone at any life stage, and of any gender, sexual orientation, size, race, religion, etc.

Various media/entertainment depictions of EDs, such as the more recent Netflix drama To The Bone, feed into the false belief that you have to be extremely thin in order to be sick. Truth: Body size is not indicative of mental illness. There is a range of eating disorder behaviours that do not always fall into a neat and prescriptive recovery box (side note: for more on why “To The Bone” is problematic, read this).

So, along with taking a hammer to our scale (as some of us do as part of our recovery), we should also be smashing the stereotypes regarding EDs so that all voices/experiences can be supported.

Facebook LIVE Stream

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Over the last few blogs, I’ve introduced you to some concepts for eating disorder recovery and healing. These practices stem from:

• My personal experience
• The way I engage with clients
• And the presentation I gave this past May at the NEDIC conference: Moving Body Acceptance Off of the Mat and Into the World

In Part I of this series, we talked about creating a space of safety for healing. And in Part II, we cultivated a heartfelt intention to keep us rooted in our journey.  Finally, here in Part III, I will take you through a guided relaxation where we’ll combine all learnings from this 3-part Body Acceptance series.

Can Stillness Bring Change?

I firmly believe so. Prior to discovering the practice of Restorative Yoga and Yoga Nidra, I used to believe change came from constantly moving > striving > doing stuff. Even in my ED recovery I felt I needed to check off the “tick boxes” of the supposed steps in recovery. But now, I realize personal growth and change is not so linear. And lying dormant isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes the most profound changes come from being still and getting in touch with the deepest part of ourselves –  very slowly and thoughtfully.

Enter: The Practice

“There is a part of you that is whole, healthy and not needing to be fixed.”

~ Richard Miller, psychologist and founder of iRest

I believe becoming more accepting of your body means practicing it, regularly. And I don’t want you to waste one more minute in theory! So I’m going to leave this 30-minute guided relaxation right here for you to explore, on your own time, in your own healing space.

Let us know how it goes! <3

The post The Body Acceptance Series Part III: Putting Theory Into Practice appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

WIIFM stands for “What’s In It For Me”. And it’s most notably referenced in the marketing and selling of a product or service. But in Part II of this Body Acceptance series (click here for Part I), I’m borrowing the WIIFM phrase to explore the deep-seeded reasons why someone seeks healing and recovery. I’m particularly drawing on my presentation last month at the NEDIC conference “Moving Body Acceptance Off Of The Mat & Into The World”.

WIIFM is a marketing approach to highlight the key selling features that will attract consumers to buy what a business is selling. It drives the promotion strategies used. And, if done well, continually focusing on the consumer benefits when advertising brings higher sales.

However, the “buying and selling” of eating disorder treatment is not easily strategized or packaged. Healing and recovery on this front is deeply personal, with umpteenth reasons for seeking it out. There is no cookie cutter approach. But, getting a clear understanding of the reasons why you are starting on the ED recovery path can:

1. Help articulate your recovery goals and intentions going forward
2. Be an anchor to what keeps you going, especially when the changes you’re making feel difficult

What am I longing for?

Selling anybody, on anything, is not the way I operate. The resolve to heal has to come personally from within. And no amount of persuasion or marketing tactics is going to sell you on the need/desire for healing.

Instead, when clients start working with us, the suggestion is that they ask themselves why they are here in this stage of their recovery journey. In other words, WIIFM is reframed with questions like these:

• Where does the eating disorder make life difficult/challenging?
• What are some negative feelings/experiences that the eating disorder creates?
• How are these behaviours not serving me at this time?
• When the eating disorder is no longer a guiding force in my life, what does that look like?
• Or… what am I longing for?

When participants and I pondered these questions at the NEDIC conference, there was a general consensus that life with an ED is anxiety-provoking, nerve-wrecking, surrounded by so much fear and a feeling of being overpowered by the ED thoughts/behaviours. But, on the other side of that,  might be freedom, personal trust and inner peace. And remembering the personal intention (the longing) at the forefront of the recovery process, is one way to solidify one’s commitment to healing.

From “May I….” to “I am”

Practices such as meditation, reflection and journaling can be effective tools for disrupting the ED. Loving Kindness Meditation (LKM) is one type of attention that can guide us from a place of self-loathing to self-compassion. A LKM has the following recited phrases: “May I be safe; may I be healthy, may I be happy and may I live with ease.”  Therefore, it is a hope for healing, recovery, change.

However, if we tap into our heart’s deepest desire and use the yogic practice of Sankalpa, change becomes more imminent.

Sankalpa is Sanskrit for heartfelt intention, a solemn vow, your heart’s deepest desire. It typically has the following characteristics:

• A personal commitment
• Affirming, positive
• Rooted in the present tense

In other words, your heartfelt intention is an anchor for where the recovery process will ultimately take you – realizing your true purpose in life.

Developing your Sankalpa (Heartfelt Intention)

1. Have a pen and paper handy
2. Find a quiet place for reflection
3. Go back to the questions above in the What am I longing for? section.
4. Pay particular attention to what it is your heart is longing for
5. Keep your statement brief, something you can easily recall and recite to yourself often
6. Write it down
7. Close your eyes and repeat your Sankalpa to yourself several times
8. Sit for a while and feel how this statement shows up in the body

Crafting your Heartfelt Intention can take some time. Also, it doesn’t have to be perfect. But if you’re struggling to find one that works for you, here are a few examples to get you started:

• I am…
• I welcome all impressions as interesting notes of discovery
• I trust myself

Up next: Michelle will guide you through a Yoga Nidra practice. Stay tuned for this 20 – 30 minute guided relaxation, where we’ll combine all learnings from this 3-part Body Acceptance series.

The post The Body Acceptance Series Part II: The WIIFM of Healing & Recovery appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

The original presenter was unable to present on “Moving Body Acceptance Off Of The Mat And Into The World” so I was asked to facilitate it instead. A lofty goal, I think, to address all that is in that title, in only 75min. And so many directions the presentation could have taken! But I chose to:

1. Draw on my lived experience
2. Leverage my understanding on the concepts of neuroscience and embodiment
3. And weave throughout some of my favourite embodiment tools (and there are many) in an effort to encourage self-discovery, healing and change

This 3-part series is to share that presentation (and possibly more) here, with you! I hope it will intrigue and inspire colleagues, clients/patients, caregivers and those in recovery in the complex field of Eating Disorders (EDs).

Let’s Explore, Question and Discover

In this 3-part series we will address, what I believe, are helpful components for recovery and healing:

1. Designing a “mat” space as a personal labratory
2. Asking the ultimate question: “What is it I and/or my client are longing for?
3. Testing various tools/practices for engaging with the body in an embodied way

So let’s explore the first component that can be a starting off point in the journey…

Our “mat space” as our personal laboratory

EDs and body image disturbances are ailments that promote disconnection from the natural, integrated wisdom between the mind and body. In recovery, we are attempting to repair that separation. And yet connecting to the body experience again can be very scary. 

Neuroception: a term coined by Dr.Stephen Porges, describes neuroception as a wiring within our nervous system, interpreting the environments we’re in as places of safety or potential threat

If the intention is to gradually cultivate a sense of acceptance and connection for our bodies, then we need to feel safe to explore the body experience in a neutral way (I wrote more on body neutrality in this post).

One of the ways to create safety in ED recovery, is to begin with establishing boundaries for those explorations. The yoga mat can be a physical manifestation of that needed safe place. It can be a place  to practice new concepts. And when we are on our mat space it is:

• A judgment-free zone, where you don’t have to “be” or “do” anything
• And you approach the body and your noticed responses with sincere curiosity. I like to use the phrase “Hmm, isn’t that interesting!” whenever something comes up for me

A Ceremony: Creating Your Mat Space

In my NEDIC presentation, participants didn’t have an actual mat. And you don’t need one either. But you can map your “mat space” as your personal laboratory wherever you feel is best to do so:

1. A good place to create that space might be your bedroom
2. Stand in whichever space you choose
3. If you have a mat, roll it out in your chosen space. Or visualize a mat, in whatever shape and size feels necessary
4. Close your eyes, with arms spread out wide, take up space. Pause
5. Declare to yourself “This is my sanctuary. This is my anchor. This is my safe place”
6. Consider slowly and deliberately doing a 360 degree turn of your mat space
7. With arms stretched out as you turn, continue to repeat the above declaration
8. Once your mat space feels firmly designed for your personal explorations and comfort, complete the ceremony

Coming Soon: Part II of this Body Acceptance series will explore the question: What is it that I and/or my client are longing for? Until then, return to this safely (mat practice), slowly, gently and repeatedly

The post The Body Acceptance Series Part I: Creating the Space for Body Acceptance appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

A common dilemma with eating disorders (EDs) is the difficulty one can have in identifying and interpreting their emotions (the medical term for this is alexithymia). Again, it comes back to the mind-body disconnection that I spoke about in yesterday’s post.

Anxiety is also a common c0-occuring illness with EDs. It puts the nervous system into an “amped-up” state! When someone is experiencing anxiousness, it can feel debilitating and overwhelming. And not being able to tap into and know those feelings can be confusing, making it hard to figure out what is needed to self-soothe and self-regulate those feelings. So what is someone with and eating disorder to do when experience anxiety and/or a nervous system on overdrive? It’s in these situations leaning on a loved one might be helpful.

The role of caregiver

As a caregiver of someone struggling with an eating disorder or other mental health illness, it can be challenging to know what to do. But don’t minimize your role as supporter and nurturer. Sometimes the best thing you can offer is a safe place to be held and an opportunity for rest, without try to fix anything.

Are you familiar with the practice of swaddling? Swaddling is often part of the bedtime routine for infants. It is where a newborn is cocooned in a blanket. And it signals to the nervous system that it is time for rest.

Now I’ve been experimenting recently with using this practice for managing difficult feelings, especially for anxiety. And if you want to do something for your loved one in need of some down-regulating, you may want to try this…

Swaddling: It’s not just for babies

In the following video, I demonstrate with my friend Angela, how to swaddle and nurture an adult. But first, here are some suggested tips:

1. Take up space, as much as you need. I use my living room and push any furniture aside
2. Turn off phones and remove any other potential distractions (TV, pets, etc.)
3. Adjust lighting if possible (or use an eye pillow or folded hand towel placed over the eyes to shield from bright lights/the sun)
4. Explain what you will be doing, ask permission and stay with them the entire time
5. Allow some time for quiet but continue to ask them every few minutes how they are doing
6. Continue to remind them that you are there, either with a few kind words or hands gently placed at top of head, shoulder or feet
7. Keep with the swaddle 5 – 15 minutes max. Any longer than that has the potential to bring up feelings of overwhelm and claustrophobia (which is the opposite of what you are trying to accomplish)

While I and some of my clients have found this to be super relaxing and soothing… what works for some, might not work for others. We are all unique in our recovery journey. But if you think it might work for you, give it a try and let me know what you think.

Michelle Pitman is the founder and operator of Define Me Wellness. Most recently, Michelle has launched Under the Lilac Tree: a virtual program for eating disorder recovery and support. Click here to learn more about Michelle and her work.

The post #EDAW2017: A Restorative Practice to Help Your Loved One Manage Anxiety appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Eating disorders are often coping strategies to manage difficult feelings and/or experiences. And behaviours such as starving, purging and self-criticism can trick us into thinking we are in control.  But, when someone is in the depths of an eating disorder, the connection between the mind and the body is muddled.

It can be scary to give up the ED behaviours (believe me, I know). It is especially difficult when we don’t have positive replacements for those harmful behaviours. So, what do we need to repair the mind-body connection and heal from EDs? Well, I believe self-awareness is a super important skill. And my favourite way to rebuild self-awareness is through a variety of slow, gentle movement and self-care practices .

Self-Massage for The Win!

Self massage is just one of the strategies I incorporate into my self-care and movement tool kit. My morning practice includes at least 5 minutes of self massage with therapy balls. I roll with them everyday.

The following video is a brief demo of a typical routine I use for the neck-jaw-face. I use Yoga Tune Up® therapy balls (the “Originals”). But you could also use lacrosse or tennis balls instead to get a similar effect. Practice along with me:

Facebook Live: Restorative Movement Class!

As Eating Disorders Awareness Week comes to a close, I’ll be hosting a Facebook Live class on Tuesday, February 7th. Explore restorative movement and gentle embodiment practices in the comfort of your home. Checkout the Define Me Wellness FB page for further details.

Michelle Pitman is the founder and operator of Define Me Wellness. Most recently, Michelle has launched Under the Lilac Tree: a virtual program for eating disorder recovery and support. Click here to learn more about Michelle and her work. 

The post #EDAW2017: From Disconnection to Awareness with Self Massage appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

The question of whether Reiki can help with eating disorders is one I have been recently asking myself. In fact, I have been thinking about Reiki’s place in ED treatment since launching my virtual recovery support program. Reiki is not usually part of everyday conversation.  Furthermore, it’s not on the top of the list of treatment options where health care is concerned. Mainstream skepticism is strong when it comes to energy healing practices. Why? Because the healing possibilities of Reiki (or other energy healing options) are difficult to quantify. And the skeptics are likely to describe Reiki as “woo-woo” and needing proof of effectiveness before considering its place in treatment.

What is Reiki?

Reiki is a gentle energy healing practice with the intention of bringing balance to your mind-body. I like to use this quote to describe Reiki’s purpose:

“Energy flows where attention goes.”  

As your practitioner, I am a conduit of energy for you, the client. I don’t have magical powers and I can’t foresee or promise a certain outcome. Instead, we both try to suspend judgment and trust in the idea of life happening for us (as opposed to life happening to us).

Energy healing sessions are held either remotely (aka: distance healing) or in-person.

• An in-person session involves the client lying on a massage table, fully clothed. Then, the practitioner places hands directly on or hovering over different points of the body
• A distance healing session does not require the receiver (client) to be present. Usually a picture, object or specific details (i.e.: name, age, issue/concern) about the individual are provided. And the practitioner focuses on the client details while sending them Reiki energy

So, is there a place for Reiki in ED Treatment?

The journey of healing and recovery is unique. And what is helpful for some, might not be as helpful for others. Let’s take a look first at what clients of mine have said about their Reiki sessions:

• Improved inner body awareness
• A sense of being grounded
• More feelings of being calm, at peace
• Less feelings of overwhelm/depression/anxiety

Now let’s look at some of the typical experiences of those struggling with EDs:

• Disconnection from the body? Yes
• A sense of being out of control? Yes
• Being at war with the body? Yes
• Feelings of overwhelm/fear/anger/anxiety/sadness/hatred? Yes

There does seem to be some parallels between the benefits of Reiki and what a person with an eating disorder needs to support recovery. While Reiki alone won’t completely heal the mind-body divide that an eating disorder magnifies, I believe it can be a nice compliment to traditional ED treatment. At the very least, it certainly couldn’t hurt to try.

Offering Free Reiki!

Finally, in honour of Eating Disorders Awareness Week, I’m offering free distance healing from Feb 1st – Feb 8th, 2017. Also, if you are local to the GTA or Durham Region, an in-person session may be scheduled on a Pay What Feels Best basis. Contact us to book your appointment.

Michelle Pitman is the founder and operator of Define Me Wellness. Most recently, Michelle has launched Under the Lilac Tree: a virtual program for eating disorder recovery and support. Click here to learn more about Michelle and her work.

The post #EDAW2017: Can Reiki Help with Eating Disorders? appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Eating Disorders Awareness Week (EDAW) starts NOW! Welcome. And thanks for joining me. At this time of year, there is always something I am doing to honour and raise awareness around eating disorders (EDs).  Writing tends to be a form of processing and healing for me.  And a means of support and encouragement for others (I hope). Whether it’s sharing my own struggle (like this post)… or my journey towards recovery (like in this post)… the intention is always to be real with my experience so that I might:

• Open a door to understanding for those who misunderstand EDs
• Or provide a glimmer of hope for healing for those who are working towards ED recovery

But my involvement in EDAW this year is much more! Without further ado, it starts with this kick off video. Watch to learn more about what I have planned:

The post Under the Lilac Tree Kick Off for #EDAW2017 appeared first on Define Me Wellness.