I know what you’re thinking… OMG, we’ve barely gotten through Halloween yet! But every year, without fail, the hustle and bustle of December sneaks up on us. And what is the first thing to go as we get preppin’ for the festivities? Self-care! You know that it’s true. We’ve all experienced it.  So, now seems like a good time to get an action plan together to pre-empt overwhelm and self-neglect.

Give yourself the gift of SELF CARE

Be specific in the self-care plan you prescribe for yourself by determining what, how often and when you will do something that is entirely devoted to you.

• What things do you currently do to practice self care?
• What might you add, revise or eliminate to optimize your well-being?
• How frequently do you take time out for yourself? Is it enough? Do you need more “me time”?

Review and revise your schedule to find the time for you.  That might mean saying no, or not now, to other people’s requests and any self-assigned tasks that have been standing in the way.  If you are not doing anything (or not enough) for yourself,  you need to schedule it in like you would any other important appointment and stick with it – no matter what!

Try making this plan not just for the December rush. Self-care should be a daily ritual.  And it doesn’t have to be any longer than 2 – 3 minutes to make a difference. Sometimes, the simplest way to do this is to take time out to breathe.

Furthermore, reassess your self-care plan monthly (or at least quarterly) to be sure it’s working for you.  In that way, it will help keep it top of mind and move you to making it a regular habit.

Need Help?

On that note, if you need some guidance implementing self-care and/or movement into your lifestyle, I’m offering a 4-week wellness coaching package at a fraction of the usual cost. For $199, we’ll work together one-on-one where you will:

• Learn practical wellness tips that are easy to apply to your day-to-day life
• Develop new lifestyle practices that help you tune into your body’s natural needs for nourishment and movement
• Reshape your well-being in a way that works for you

Includes:

• Initial consult, complimentary
• 4 – weekly private PT or yoga sessions in the home
• 4 – weekly one-on-one coaching calls
• Program cards with detailed exercise instructions
• Unlimited email support
• And MORE
• Valued at over $500

This Holiday promo only comes around once a year and there are just a handful of spots available. Contact Michelle today to see if the Define Me Way is right for you.

The post It’s That Time of Year Again! appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

The Art of Self-Swaddling

What do you do though, if you want to be swaddled but don’t have anyone around to help you with the setup? Well, I’ve been experimenting lately with self-swaddling and I think I’ve found a technique that works pretty well! So, here’s a 5 minute video demo-ing how to swaddle yourself:

NOTE: This does require rolling the body and that movement pattern might not be suitable and/or available to everyone. Please refrain from trying this if you are recovering from an injury or if you have joint and/or mobility issues.

Michelle Pitman is the the founder and operator of Define Me Wellness. Michelle supports clients on their own path to well-being with specialities in healing body image, enhancing athletic performance and cultivating work-life balance. Click here to learn more about Michelle and her work.

The post Restorative Practice to Help with Anxiety: The Swaddle, Part II appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

A common dilemma with eating disorders (EDs) is the difficulty one can have in identifying and interpreting their emotions (the medical term for this is alexithymia). Again, it comes back to the mind-body disconnection that I spoke about in yesterday’s post.

Anxiety is also a common c0-occuring illness with EDs. It puts the nervous system into an “amped-up” state! When someone is experiencing anxiousness, it can feel debilitating and overwhelming. And not being able to tap into and know those feelings can be confusing, making it hard to figure out what is needed to self-soothe and self-regulate those feelings. So what is someone with and eating disorder to do when experience anxiety and/or a nervous system on overdrive? It’s in these situations leaning on a loved one might be helpful.

The role of caregiver

As a caregiver of someone struggling with an eating disorder or other mental health illness, it can be challenging to know what to do. But don’t minimize your role as supporter and nurturer. Sometimes the best thing you can offer is a safe place to be held and an opportunity for rest, without try to fix anything.

Are you familiar with the practice of swaddling? Swaddling is often part of the bedtime routine for infants. It is where a newborn is cocooned in a blanket. And it signals to the nervous system that it is time for rest.

Now I’ve been experimenting recently with using this practice for managing difficult feelings, especially for anxiety. And if you want to do something for your loved one in need of some down-regulating, you may want to try this…

Swaddling: It’s not just for babies

In the following video, I demonstrate with my friend Angela, how to swaddle and nurture an adult. But first, here are some suggested tips:

1. Take up space, as much as you need. I use my living room and push any furniture aside
2. Turn off phones and remove any other potential distractions (TV, pets, etc.)
3. Adjust lighting if possible (or use an eye pillow or folded hand towel placed over the eyes to shield from bright lights/the sun)
4. Explain what you will be doing, ask permission and stay with them the entire time
5. Allow some time for quiet but continue to ask them every few minutes how they are doing
6. Continue to remind them that you are there, either with a few kind words or hands gently placed at top of head, shoulder or feet
7. Keep with the swaddle 5 – 15 minutes max. Any longer than that has the potential to bring up feelings of overwhelm and claustrophobia (which is the opposite of what you are trying to accomplish)

While I and some of my clients have found this to be super relaxing and soothing… what works for some, might not work for others. We are all unique in our recovery journey. But if you think it might work for you, give it a try and let me know what you think.

Michelle Pitman is the founder and operator of Define Me Wellness. Most recently, Michelle has launched Under the Lilac Tree: a virtual program for eating disorder recovery and support. Click here to learn more about Michelle and her work.

The post #EDAW2017: A Restorative Practice to Help Your Loved One Manage Anxiety appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Eating disorders are often coping strategies to manage difficult feelings and/or experiences. And behaviours such as starving, purging and self-criticism can trick us into thinking we are in control.  But, when someone is in the depths of an eating disorder, the connection between the mind and the body is muddled.

It can be scary to give up the ED behaviours (believe me, I know). It is especially difficult when we don’t have positive replacements for those harmful behaviours. So, what do we need to repair the mind-body connection and heal from EDs? Well, I believe self-awareness is a super important skill. And my favourite way to rebuild self-awareness is through a variety of slow, gentle movement and self-care practices .

Self-Massage for The Win!

Self massage is just one of the strategies I incorporate into my self-care and movement tool kit. My morning practice includes at least 5 minutes of self massage with therapy balls. I roll with them everyday.

The following video is a brief demo of a typical routine I use for the neck-jaw-face. I use Yoga Tune Up® therapy balls (the “Originals”). But you could also use lacrosse or tennis balls instead to get a similar effect. Practice along with me:

Facebook Live: Restorative Movement Class!

As Eating Disorders Awareness Week comes to a close, I’ll be hosting a Facebook Live class on Tuesday, February 7th. Explore restorative movement and gentle embodiment practices in the comfort of your home. Checkout the Define Me Wellness FB page for further details.

Michelle Pitman is the founder and operator of Define Me Wellness. Most recently, Michelle has launched Under the Lilac Tree: a virtual program for eating disorder recovery and support. Click here to learn more about Michelle and her work. 

The post #EDAW2017: From Disconnection to Awareness with Self Massage appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

A Full Day Dedicated to Women’s Health, Empowerment & Self-Care

Most of all, this is a day for connection and revitalizing your commitment to your well-being journey for 2017 and beyond.  It’s going to be refreshing and fun! And we hope you’ll join us.  As an extra incentive to get you registered….

It’s Contest Giveaway Time!

Part of our women’s health retreat involves a practice in self-massage.  And we’ll be using my go-to resources with the Yoga Tune Up® Therapy Balls.  Establishing a daily self-massage routine can help with:

• Relieving and eliminating pain
• Managing stress
• Enhancing the mind-body connection

Because I’m a big “ball-iever” in the power of self-care as health-care, I want you to be able to take what you learned home with you.  So, if you register by 11:59pm Monday, Jan 16th, your name will be entered into a draw to win a Yoga Tune Up® Therapy Balls kit.  Valued at almost $150, the winner will receive the following:

• Set of Originals, in netted tote
• 1 Alpha
• 1 Coregeous
• Plus, a private 1:1 customized “roll-it-out” session with me, Michelle

Another event (and giveaway) like this isn’t going to come along often! Sunday, January 22nd is going to be a fabulous day with a peaceful setting, delicious food and a room full of women celebrating and empowering one another.

To join us, simply follow this link for registration. This once a year event is only open to the first 20 registered.

The post Jan 22nd Retreat for Women’s Health, Empowerment & Self-Care! Agenda & Contest Giveaway!!! appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Seems like the holidays are wrapping up and a new year is upon us.  It’s the best time to prioritize you and find simple ways to take good care of your whole self (read: mind, body, spirit).  That’s why I’m excited to be co-hosting this Nourished Body day-long retreat on January 22nd! Past participants say it’s introspective, inspiring, valuable and fun! And this year’s event promises to be all that and more.

Tucked away in a farm setting in Uxbridge, you’ll learn new and interesting practices around food, movement and health.  Here are just a few highlights…

Exploring an alternative to the diet and deprivation cycle

Our relationship with food can be complicated and frustrating.  But it shouldn’t be.  And it doesn’t have to be.  Kori Kostka, Registered Dietitian, will have you thinking differently about eating through:

1. Ditching the rules and restriction (or putting them aside, at least for one day)
2. Discovering ways to identify hunger and fullness cues
3. And putting theory into practice with a fully-catered mindful eating lunch

Restore your body and nervous systems through movement:

Since food and exercise go hand-in-hand when dieting, the usual approach to physical activity probably leaves us more disconnected from our bodies.  And just like with food, it doesn’t have to be this way.  Therefore, Michelle Pitman (that’s me!) will also have you thinking and relating to your body differently with:

1. Body sensing from a place of curiosity and no judgment
2. Self massage techniques for pain relief
3. Restorative yoga as a gentle and embodied experience

As a result of these movement practices, you will feel deep relaxation and a better understanding of your body’s needs.

Finally, discover how you can take charge of your health

It all comes together with a candid and kind conversation with Nurse Practitioner Claudia Mariano.  You will get the facts about the health concerns that matter most to you as a woman, from an expert.  And then learn what you can do to prevent, heal and thrive through:

1. Practicing mindfulness for women’s health, at various life stages
2. Discovering new tips for taking care of your skin
3. And, most importantly, determining how to get what you want out of life

Sunday, January 22nd is going to be a fabulous day with a peaceful setting, delicious food and a room full of women celebrating and empowering one another.  To join us, simply follow this link for registration.  And please sign up soon to avoid disappointment.  This once a year event is only open to the first 20 registered.

Women’s Wellness & Leadership Retreat
Eat, Play and Be Mindful

The post Women’s Wellness & Leadership 1 Day Retreat appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

The Inspiration

A recent Buzzfeed article: What Not to Say About Food at Thanksgiving inspired me to create a resource – an invitation.  The invitation letter is an example of what to send out when inviting folks to special occasions.  The letter asks invitees to refrain from ED triggering language and subject matter.

Setting the tone for the celebration ahead of time will increase awareness and hopefully minimize any harmful comments or actions.

First, Some Considerations

This is for caregivers and loved ones of ED sufferers and survivors.  Do the best you can to setup a safe space prior to the get-together.  You want to avoid those potential triggers where the eating disorder thoughts and behaviours are provoked. Consider some of these ideas:

1. Host the celebration.  Be in charge of creating a neutral environment, where the eating disorder cannot thrive
2. Ask your loved one with the ED what would make the celebration successful and maybe even enjoyable for them
3. Avoid centering on any one individual or on the ED specifically
4. Draft an invitation that is kind, yet firm, around the types of conversation that is off limits

The Invitation:

The following is the text in a JPEG format. I’ve also provided a link to the PDF version so you can copy-paste, then make changes as you see fit.  Please email me if you are having trouble accessing it and I will email the text right over to you.

Whatever you celebrate, I hope this invitation helps making a safe space over the holidays a little easier for you and your loved ones.

And here is another format: Holiday Invitation PDF

Define Me has a new offering for those struggling with eating disorders across the spectrum.  Under the Lilac Tree is a virtual program with a team of peer support workers, dietitians, embodiment and gentle movement coaches.  If you or a loved one are seeking help, please contact Michelle Pitman, program director via email: [email protected] or call: 905-441-1524. 

The post Eating Disorder Ceasefire: How To Create a Safe Space Over the Holidays appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

The Story Behind the Launch

I made my way down from the podium, onto the conference room floor, where audience members provided feedback on the presentation myself and colleague Kori Lichtfuss had just completed.  The presentation included a brief intro into my eating disorder history and some thoughts on my recovery.

As I finished chatting with folks, a young woman who had been waiting in the background approached me, with tears in her eyes, and softly whispered:

“What did you do to not relapse?”

It was one of the most difficult questions I think I had ever been asked in my life and I was so unsure how to respond.  I took a breath.  I looked into her eyes.  There was so much vulnerability for both of us in that moment and, standing on the other side of recovery, I had so much empathy for this women and all the pain and suffering the eating disorder had caused her.

She proceeded to tell me that she was in the middle of her 3rd relapse.  She was trying the best she could, on her own, to manage her symptoms while she anxiously waited for space to open up for an inpatient treatment program.  After providing her with some interim resources to search out, I asked permission to give her a hug and offered words of encouragement.  But what I didn’t realize in that moment was a seed being planted.

That vulnerable exchange between survivor and fighter was 18 months ago at a National Eating Disorders Conference.  Since then, I have found myself reflecting on it often and asking:

• Was there more that I could have done for her? AND
• How might I use my lived experience from ED diagnosis to recovery (and no relapse) to make a difference for those in it now?

Those questions have been at the centre of building a space for the ED community that is now ready to launch…

Welcome to Under The Lilac Tree

The first of its kind, Under the Lilac Tree is an online resource for your road to recovery.  You have already taken the first step by acknowledging the problem and seeking treatment.  This program’s intent is to fully support you while you wait.  We work together to reduce self-harming behaviours, managing the eating disorder before your admission to inpatient/outpatient treatment.

Under the Lilac Tree provides regular opportunities to check-in and explore opportunities for healing through:

• Creating small, yet meaningful goals
• Weekly coaching calls with a peer support worker (that’s me!)
• Weekly virtual sessions with a registered dietician
• Additional sessions and resources on restorative movement, mindfulness and self-care
• Ongoing support via email

Along with waiting for treatment, there might be additional barriers to accessing support on your ED recovery such as your location and financial resources.  That is why Under the Lilac Tree coaching and counselling is:

• Offering services virtually via Skype, phone and/or email
• Affordable, with packages starting at $399 (sliding scale available for those who qualify)
• Flexible with options for spreading out sessions (i.e.: bi-weekly instead of weekly, or other suitable frequency)

So there it is! What started as a whisper of an underlying need, became a labour of love that is now available to you and your loved ones.  If support in your ED healing journey is something you’re seeking, please reach out. I’m only a phone call or email away if you need me.

More to come in my next post where I’ll introduce you to our team and the core values that guide us in serving you as you move towards recovery.

The post Are You Waiting for Eating Disorder Treatment? Feeling Lost and Alone? This might help… appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Amanda’s Big Dream, written by Judith Matz and illustrated by Elizabeth Patch, tells the story of a young figure skater, Amanda, whose dream is to perform a solo act in her community’s Spring Ice Show.  But Amanda’s well-intentioned, though misguided coach suggests that, if Amanda wants to get the part, she needs to lose weight if she is going to be successful.

Unfortunately, this scenario is all too common for many children – thin or fat, in the athletic arena or elsewhere.  For example, body image related bullying (which includes bullying based on one’s size), is the most predominant form of bullying, as found in a 2006 Census report by the Toronto District School Board.  And, with the help of mainstream media, young children are exposed frequently to stigmatizing messages about weight and size, including the assumption that thinner is better with regards to health and even sports performance.  The familiar message of you can do and be anything you want with “practice, practice, practice” comes with the caveat of needing to fit into a certain aesthetic – the thin ideal.

Amanda’s Big Dream highlights how harmful talk regarding dieting and weight loss can be.  With a short, simple statement like “…if you lost a little weight…” a child’s dreams and sense of accomplishment can be swiftly crushed.

“Follow your dreams, whoever you are.  Follow your dreams and they’ll take you far.”

However, this sweet story also offers a well-guided lesson for us all, parents and children alike.  A compassionate doctor and supportive parents switch the focus to the positive healthy behaviours Amanda already engages in and encourage her to stay with her sport because she loves it so much.

Does Amanda continue anyway in the face of criticism? Does she go on to get the solo performance in the Spring Ice Show? For those answers, you’ll have to read the book

But I will say that it is so refreshing to see a more positive alternative, that touches on the Health At Every Size® principles in a relatable way and guides readers towards a more holistic view on living life and going after your dreams.   Plus, there are great resources shared at the end of the book and on this website.

Having children ages 5 and 7 that participate in sport, I see the critical importance of cultivating a positive body image and detaching the value placed on an ideal size or shape for success in sports and/or overall health.  Amanda’s Big Dream is a great starting point for opening up that dialogue with children and our communities.

The post Amanda’s Big Dream: A Book Review appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

In my last post, I talked about one of the most common New Year’s resolutions…The resolve to lose weight.  After re-reading that post, it got me thinking of an often overlooked part of the goal setting process: defining the goal.  I love the structure and process of using the SMART approach to setting goals.  I frequently turn to it when I am creating intentions for myself or coaching my clients in the goals they are setting for themselves.  I wrote about this concept a couple of years ago, in a bit more detail here.

But before you start creating (or possibly revising) those resolutions I’d like to ask you a couple of questions:

• When it comes to weight loss goals (yours or those that you are helping a family member/client/friend with), have you ever considered you might be focusing on the wrong Result?
• What is it you are looking to gain from losing weight?
• If you achieve that goal, does that mean you are healthier for it?

Through my years working with the Health At Every Size® paradigm, I have come to realize a shortfall within the SMART goal setting process and in the way that success is defined.  Particularly when it comes to weight-loss goals, we are focused so much so on the outcome that the actions we take or the behaviours that we may want to shift become secondary.

Searching for the definition of “outcome” I found the following from 3 online dictionaries:

• the way a thing turns out; a consequence.
• something that follows as a result or consequence
• something that follows from an action, dispute, situation, etc; result; consequence

That is all that weight loss is; a potential result from the steps we have taken, a drawn line in the sand that says our goal is complete and we have made it.  Is that all we are looking for in our measure of success? A criteria of pounds lost or body measurements decreased? I challenge the assumption that weight loss equals success, happiness, improved health or anything else that is promised when someone takes on the soul-sucking task of dieting.  And I caution folks on using pounds lost as a proxy for goal achievement.

What if instead you focused more on the Behaviour, rather than the result? Spending more time and energy on the ways you want to live a healthier lifestyle, while taking things slow and being kind to yourself.  That, to me, is more impactful than any weight loss goal (IMHO).  Ultimately, I think it is the behaviour we are looking to change and it is the outcome that is secondary.

How might you be able to reframe your intentions from an outcome-oriented endpoint to a behaviour-focused journey? Tell us in the comments below.

The post And While We’re On The Topic of Resolutions… appeared first on Define Me Wellness.