Featured this month are the Pilates Restore, Simply Restorative and Lunch Yoga-Pilates Flow series. So read on to find out more. And more to come as the summer unfolds. So stay tuned!

Pilates Restore Series

If you’re looking for the best of both worlds in a movement class – building functional core strength AND making time for mind-body relaxation – this is THE class to take! Join Tara for this combo class of Pilates and Restorative Yoga.

Pilates strengthens your integral core at the deepest layers. It aims to realign the spine while also engaging smaller “twitch” muscles. In turn, this allows your body to move as a whole – optimally and with joy. Each class will conclude with a small restorative yoga practice to allow you to connect with your mind and body and leave class feeling content and at ease.

Dates: Wednesday June 9th to July 14th

Time : 5-6:00pm

Cost: $72 for the full 6 weeks

Email Tara to register

Simply Restorative Series

Restorative Yoga is a favourite of ours, to teach and to practice as it facilitates activation of the Parasympathetic Nervous System. Above all, engaging this system is often considered the antidote to dealing with stress. Further, by focusing on slow, gentle, and subtle practices, Restorative Yoga signals to the body-mind it is time for rest and recovery. Check out what happened for this team of social workers when they began incorporating Restorative Yoga into their self-care plans.

More specifically, you will learn some relaxing breathing techniques and move through a series of fully supportive postures. Certainly, removing muscular tension within the body and peeling away any layers of stress and tension is the main goal!

Date: Monday, June 14th to July 19th

Time: 9:30-10:30am

Cost: $72 for the full 6 weeks

Email Tara to register

Lunch Yoga-Pilates Flow

This class provides a blend of functional Pilates and Vinyasa (flow) yoga to break up your Monday. With efficiency and creativity in mind, Tara designs her classes to help you get the most out of this 45-minute class. In this way, Tara aims to make yoga and Pilates not just accessible to all bodies, but enjoyable too!

Date: Monday, June 14th to July 19th

Time: 12:00-12:45pm

Cost: $72 for the full 6 weeks

Email Tara to register

The post Another Set of Yoga & Pilates Classes Begin @ The Define Me Virtual Studio appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Restorative Yoga is a fantastic tool to move you into the Parasympathetic Nervous System response. Above all, engaging this system is often considered the antidote to dealing with stress. And, by focusing on slow, gentle, and subtle practices, Restorative Yoga signals to the body-mind it is time for rest. Subsequently, it provides the opportunity for a complete reset.

More specifically, you will learn some relaxing breathing techniques and move through a series of fully supportive postures. Certainly, removing muscular tension within the body and peeling away any layers of stress and tension is the main goal!

Simple Restorative 6-week Series Details:

Start date: Monday, January 18th, 2021
End date: Monday, February 22nd, 2021

Time: 9:30-10:30am
Cost: $72 for the full 6 weeks

Hosted through Zoom, participants will have access to the recording for 48 hours after each class. 

In order to get the most out of your practice, we suggest that you have the following supportive props to help:

1. 1 -2 pillows or bolsters if you have them
2. 2 blocks or a few stacks of books
3. 1 strap or a belt
4. 2 blankets
5. 1 chair
6. Optional eye pillow

To register, email Tara at: [email protected]

The post Simply Restorative Series Returns January 2021 appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Join Tara Green for a combination class of Pilates and Restorative Yoga.

Pilates is a fantastic way to strengthen your integral core at the deepest layer. It aims to realign the spine while also engaging smaller “twitch” muscles that allow the body as a whole to move optimally and with joy.

We will end our class with a small restorative yoga practice to allow us to connect with our mind and body and leave class feeling content and at ease.

Tara has over 15 years of teaching experience and has a knack for making movement instruction relatable and fun.

6 week series details
Start date : Wednesday January 13th
End date : Wednesday February 17th
Time : 5-6:00pm
Cost : $72 for the full 6 weeks

Email Tara to register
[email protected]

The post *New Class Alert* Pilates-Restore Coming January 2021 appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

So, I consider birthdays kind of a big deal! Celebrating each passing year is a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the things you are grateful for, to acknowledge personal accomplishments, and consider what you’re going to do with the life you have left to live.

With each passing year, I have found myself leaning more towards self-care over productivity, more self-kindness and self-reflection over self-deprecation and doubt. And, as I just recently celebrated turning 44, I am reflecting on how I can more consistently and intentionally practice care and kindness for myself. Because, when we listen to what our body-mind is needing from us, heed the call, and respond in kind, we can:

• Gain some peace and perspective from what burdens us
• Fulfill our life’s mission/purpose
• And more readily present to others the best of ourselves

Further, when we foster respect and consideration for ourselves in this way, we can give to others from a place of genuineness and love without depleting our own energies.

With this in mind, I have decided to gift myself a more regular and deliberate self-compassion practice. Self-compassion, not just when I am having a bad day. Or when the mood seems to strike or the timing is right. But self-compassion every damn day. Because I am deserving of that. And so are you.

The Practice of Self-Compassion

Therefore, I have challenged myself to come up with at least 44 ways that I can regularly (i.e.: daily) practice self-compassion. And I’m sure there are plenty more possibilities. But I wanted to start somewhere. So, this is my riff on ideas for self-compassion….

Self-Compassion 101 ?

1. To begin, develop a deeper understanding of what self-compassion is. Kristen Neff’s work is a great resource. It includes the following 3 basic tenets…

2. Do mindfulness. This involves being a witness to your thoughts without judging or trying to change them

3. Speak and act kindly to yourself, as you would with someone/thing you care deeply for

4. Also, remember your commonality with all humans. Everyone is imperfect. And everyone struggles in life

Building the practice 

5. Discuss with your therapist the desire for more self-compassion.

6. And ask your therapist for resources and homework to further hone the practice outside of therapy sessions

7. Pick a time of day that works best for you to practice self-compassion. Morning is ideal for me when the house is quiet and I have nowhere to be just yet

8. With self-compassion scheduled in, commit to daily meditation that has a self-compassionate theme to it

9. But if you need help, following a guided self-compassion practice, such as this workbook by Tim Desmond, might steer you in the right direction

Getting to know your baseline

10. Regularly check-in with where you are at in body-mind-spirit. Ask – what am I feeling? How can I respond compassionately?

11. Journal what comes up for you in your self-compassion practice

12. Use your self-compassion practice to better know thyself –  your character, strengths, values

13. However, make sure your assessment also includes identifying your biases, shortcomings, mistakes

14. Plus, acknowledging any suffering you are experiencing or past suffering that you are holding on to

15. But do not berate yourself for those seemingly negative aspects. Remember the key tenet of self-compassion – common humanity (see point 4 above)

16. Yet, even though flaws and suffering are part of the human condition, do not absolve yourself from doing the work of resolving beliefs and patterns that harm others

17. Review your journal entries as time goes on. What has changed? What has stayed the same? How can you invoke more self-kindness?

Embodying self-compassion

18. Utilize joyful movement to embody a self-compassionate stance

19. Activate the release of oxytocin, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter

20. Note that you can facilitate the release of oxytocin through self-touch. You could try the following…

21. Place your hand to your heart

22. Give yourself a hug and gentle squeeze 

23. And/or, you could swaddle yourself, just as one would with a newborn baby. See this video demo for how-to

24. Close your eyes and breathe softly and deeply; sense the rhythm of your breath as it moves through you

25. Practice restorative yoga

26. Provide yourself with gentle self-massage (the Roll Model Method® therapy balls are my go-to supplies for this)

27. Lie down with a Yoga Nidra session

Self-compassion with community

28. Find opportunities for real, face-to-face social connection with like-minded folk

29. But refrain from social comparison. While self-compassion involves recognizing our shared humanity, comparing ourselves to others robs us of our contentment and peace

30. Curate your social media feed to uplift rather than demote you

31. However, even with a well-curated feed, take regular social media breaks

32. Take up causes that are important to you and where you feel you can make a difference (no matter how seemingly small)

33.  But also give yourself some personal space and set boundaries

34. Replicate kindness that you witness out in the world and figure out ways you can turn it inward

When in doubt… self-care

35. Consider that practicing self-care is inherently practicing self-compassion. You are being compassionate towards yourself when you take care of your needs

36. But remove the shoulds, coulds, and body-hatred of diet culture. Restriction and denial is the anti-thesis to self-compassion

37. Instead, choose foods that marry enjoyment, nourishment, and honouring your needs and wants. For me, sometimes that might be a bacon sandwich and chips; other times a hearty cobb salad

38. Take rest days from exercise, to-do lists, and routine

39. Get enough sleep that you feel rested upon waking. Sometimes (if possible) wake without an alarm clock. Instead, let your body rise when it naturally feels ready to do so

40. And regularly immerse yourself in things that bring you joy. To me, this is swinging at the park, letting the sun beam down on my face, having a good laugh

Self-compassion in action 

41. Implement self-compassion throughout your day. In other words, not just during your scheduled self-compassion practice time

42. Develop a heartfelt intention that is rooted in self-compassion. And repeat it to yourself multiple times daily and as needed

43. Also, if you notice an unkind thought about yourself creep in, try to reframe it, in-the-moment, to be more considerate

44. And if you’re working at a goal and it is proving too difficult, give yourself permission to give up on it. Acknowledge the effort but know when enough is enough

So there you have it, 44 ways to practice self-compassion! It’s the gift I am giving myself this year and beyond. And I hope you will consider gifting it to yourself too.

I’d love to hear your ideas. What are some other ways to practice self-compassion?

The post 44 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

June 2nd is World Eating Disorders Action Day. And I’ll be participating. I want to do my small part in getting the message out about the challenges that exist in getting appropriate care and treatment for eating disorders. Because it is not easy for those suffering from this life-threatening mental illness to:

• Have their symptoms and concerns be taken seriously
• Get a proper and quick diagnosis
• Access treatment and recovery support

World Eating Disorder Action Day launched in 2015 by a group of activists, professionals, caregivers, and survivors across the globe. You can learn more about their mission and vision here, as well as how you can participate on June 2nd.

We do act NOW

Activism efforts are helpful in mobilizing change in the field of eating disorder treatment and prevention. But it doesn’t have to be grandiose or exhaustive. In other words, your championing for change can involve actions that are big or small. Further, your efforts can be time extensive or time-limited. And you can:

• Offer your special talents to eating disorder spaces (i.e.: volunteer)
• Educate yourself
• Campaign for increased government funding
• Educate others
• Spend time with a person struggling with an eating disorder or their caregiver. Listen without judgment. Ask them what they need. And do your best to support them.

You can act now by joining the conversation online. Follow us on Instagram @utlilactree. And engage with the content being shared on June 2nd (on ours and other platforms). Additionally, search on the following hashtags to stay in the know: #showusyourpurple, #eatingdisorderscantaffordtowait, #wedoactnow.

Finally, there will be at least 7 posts on our Under the Lilac Tree Insta profile on June 2nd. Moreover, these posts will pose certain reflective questions related to how we can instigate change in the eating disorder field. And I would love to hear from you! Like, comment, and repost on World Eating Disorder Day posts to keep the conversation going. Let’s bring together as many voices as possible on June 2nd to brainstorm ideas for advocacy and change. See you there

The post World Eating Disorders Action Day is Here! June 2nd, 2019 appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

What can I say? This is the first post in almost a year and much has occurred since then in the way of my professional and personal development. While I continued working with clients during this time, I was intentional with how much work I took on in relation to prioritizing my self-care, my studies, and my family. Because self-care is important in sustaining us day-to-day, yet it’s especially necessary when moving through a significant life change.

Two years ago, I made a decision to return to school to fulfill a long-time goal of becoming a social worker and therapist. I have been working in the space of body image, embodiment, disordered eating, and joyful movement for nearly a decade. But I recognized I needed to enhance my skills, grow as a professional (and get the credentials) to fully realize my purpose in thoroughly supporting those with eating disorders and other mental health illnesses.

This change brought some challenges… Hello to managing the family schedule, the kids’ extracurricular activities,  and being confronted with the troubling impact of my perfectionism!

Conversely, it brought some wonderful gifts as well. Most notably, my school-aged children got to see their mamma thriving in the school environment and going after her dreams.

But who I am is constant

However, throughout it all, I have realized:

• I am more malleable than I thought I was
• Who I am at my core will never change

In my last field placement at school, my supervisor had me take the VIA survey of character strengths. A tool developed by Positive Psychology researchers, this survey provides respondents with an itemized list of their most to least practiced character strengths. The idea being – if you know your strengths you can intentionally draw on them more regularly in life. And drawing on your strengths can help you better manage life’s inevitable changes and difficulties. For me, I discovered my top 5 are:

1. Industry, diligence, and perseverance
2. Gratitude
3. Modesty and humility
4. Caution, prudence, and discretion
5. Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith

While my results were not a surprise to me, they were certainly reaffirming. These traits make up who I am. They are assets, not deficits. And I want to move forward in life acting from my strengths. I captured my top 5 in the above image and made it my phone’s screensaver. Anytime I glance at my phone (which is eh-hem, often), I will be reminded of my strengths. And I will need these reminders because…

I am still on the path

I am still on the path of learning, of growing, of changing. Very soon I will accept my Social Services Worker diploma and become a member of the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers (stay tuned for changes to the Define Me services as a result). But, this September, I will continue my formal education at Trent University in pursuing my Bachelors of Social Work.

Learning, growth, change is a lifelong endeavour for me. It is a lifelong reality for all of us. What will you do to leverage YOUR strengths and embrace change?

The post Leveraging Your Strengths and Embracing Change appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

After 9 months of being at school, I am ready for summer.  And I am also available to take on more private clients. I have four spots left for those looking to bring fun, strengthening, and restorative movement into their daily life. Notice I did not say “exercise”?

Exercise is so passe.

When you think of the word “exercise”, what comes to mind? Most people conjure up images of athletic apparel, sweat-inducing, heart-racing activities, possibly performed in a gym setting, for a set amount of time. For some that kind of activity is enjoyable; for others, it is demoralizing and defeating. As a culture, we have put exercise into a small box with prescriptive ideas of what constitutes good and appropriate physical activity. But, in my world, the #DefineMeWay…

Movement is where it is at!

When you sign up for the Define Me sessions, we do away with the exercise box, and open up a world of movement possibilities! Together we explore the types of movement where there is joyful potential, with an emphasis on function and self-care. I firmly believe you can have it all – movement that:

1. Supports your body
2. Brings you an overall feeling of empowerment and well-being
3. Uplifts you and puts a smile on your face

Joyful Movement Awaits You…

And the summer season provides the perfect backdrop for fun and play while moving your body. Therefore, I am offering an eight-week package at a reduced price of $399. Contact me today to find out more and reserve your spot.

The post *Limited Time Offer* 8-Week Personalized Training Package At A Reduced Summer Rate appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

Eating Disorders Awareness Week (EDAW) is upon us once again. EDAW is a Canadian event led by the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC). And February 1st to 8th is an opportunity to highlight the problems with eating disorders.

I’m sad that:

• dieting, disordered eating and eating disorders are still a reality for many
• funding and approaches to ED treatment have not changed much
• many voices are not being validated or supported in the ED space

#7BillionSizes

This year NEDIC is using the hashtag #7BillionSizes to shed light on the fact that eating disorders do not discriminate. While at the same time, the systems that perpetuate them do. For example, here are a few misconceptions regarding eating disorders (ED) that you might be familiar with:

• they only happen in young white girls
• body size is a clear indication of ED symptoms
• anorexia and bulimia are the most common/serious ED types

My story held true to the first narrative. I was a young girl, thin and white. Therefore, I was recognized as someone who needed help. But that’s certainly not everyone’s story. Truth: eating disorders can affect anyone at any life stage, and of any gender, sexual orientation, size, race, religion, etc.

Various media/entertainment depictions of EDs, such as the more recent Netflix drama To The Bone, feed into the false belief that you have to be extremely thin in order to be sick. Truth: Body size is not indicative of mental illness. There is a range of eating disorder behaviours that do not always fall into a neat and prescriptive recovery box (side note: for more on why “To The Bone” is problematic, read this).

So, along with taking a hammer to our scale (as some of us do as part of our recovery), we should also be smashing the stereotypes regarding EDs so that all voices/experiences can be supported.

Facebook LIVE Stream

Just as I did for last year’s EDAW, I’ll be live streaming a gentle/restorative/mindful movement session, on our Define Me Facebook page. Please come join us and drown out the diet and body hatred noise, even if just for an hour. Here is what to do:

1. Mark Feb 3rd @ Noon EST on your calendar
2. Like our page
3. Grab a quiet place in your home, plus 2-3 blankets and pillows
4. Set “Do Not Disturb” on your device
5. Give yourself permission to be at peace with your body

Hope to see you there,

Michelle

 

The post FB Live Stream Feb 2nd for #EDAW2018 appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

I recently got a night guard to help me refrain from clenching my teeth while sleeping. Chronic jaw, neck, and shoulder pain had not been helped by some of the other interventions I tried. So the night guard was the next logical step. Four weeks into wearing it religiously every night I had gained some relief. However, the jaw pain was still there.

Fast forward to four weeks later… I’m back at the dentist’s office for a routine check up and cleaning. “The night guard has helped, I’m not experiencing as much pain as before, but still there is jaw pain”, I tell my dental hygienist as I lie back in the chair. She proceeds to tell me I might be clenching during the day too! Apparently it is really common in today’s desk dwelling culture, along with global feelings of stress, uncertainty, and productivity pressures, to be constantly contracting the jaw muscles and clenching the teeth. So much so that people are now wearing corrective mouth gear almost 24-7  to help remedy the problem.

In between her cleaning my mouth, I chuckled, “That’s kinda comical.” Instead of questioning and trying to address the root-source of the problem (i.e.: stress), we slap a band-aid (in this case, a mouth guard) on it. We look towards quick and immediate external fixes to cure longstanding and internal (personal) challenges.

About stress resilience

So that visit with my dental hygienist really got me thinking. Resilience, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is:

“an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change”

It brought me back to this TED Talk by Kelly McGonigal. Basically, she proposes that we need to change our relationship to stress instead of stressing about how to rid ourselves of it. Because removing stress completely from our lives is an impossible task. Subsequently, since viewing that talk a few years ago, I’ve changed my language regarding this topic from a theme of stress management to stress resilience.

But Michelle, you ask, what does this have to do with mouth guards and jaw pain? Well, maybe if we changed our relationship to stress, the jaw wouldn’t need a piece of molded acrylic to handle the weight of our anxieties and overwhelm all the time, day-and-night. Perhaps, if we:

• Become more aware of our stressors
• Meet them head on (with compassion)
• To understand how we usually react (physical, emotional or otherwise) to those stressors

Then, we might find new ways to effectively be with stress. In this way, the stress could be an opportunity to become more resilient.

An Embodied Response

When I reflected back on what could have been the stress that showed up for me as musculoskeletal pain, I realized it was felt pretty soon after I started back to school, after a 20+ year “hiatus” (more on that here). Clenching my teeth and contracting my fascial muscles was my embodied response to the many worries (and realities) of a major life change. Making that connection now has me considering the ways I can adapt to the challenges of being a mature student.

First, I’ve acknowledged that, although I made a good (for me) choice to become a student again, it’s natural for me to be stressed. Stress is inevitable, in this circumstance and in life. The question is:

How am I going to respond so that the stress does not take over? 

Bodies are amazing in so many ways. They have the ability to take on all kinds of stress and to bounce back from adversity. Also fascinating is that our bodies tell us when enough is enough. I’m choosing to heed the call of what my body needs:

• Do I need more rest?
• Does the jaw need some gentle movement, restorative yoga or self-massage?
• Do I need to do more conscious and relaxing breathing?
• Does my body need to move more vigorously (i.e.: running or swimming) so as to move the tension out?

I’m still using the mouth guard at night. My body still needs that support, which is totally ok. But I’d prefer not to wear a mouth guard during the day too! Instead, I want to:

• Practice being more connected to my body’s experience of stress
• Kindly acknowledge that stress is part of life but I don’t have to succumb to it completely
• Continue to use my movement practices as a tool for self-care and bouncing back from stressful moments

Any kind of physical pain is a signal to listen, instead of ignoring the pain altogether or putting a proverbial band-aid on it. Stress might be a way for us to build awareness, find strength and practice self-care.

The post Chronic Pain & Stress: A Gateway to Embodied Living appeared first on Define Me Wellness.

I know what you’re thinking… OMG, we’ve barely gotten through Halloween yet! But every year, without fail, the hustle and bustle of December sneaks up on us. And what is the first thing to go as we get preppin’ for the festivities? Self-care! You know that it’s true. We’ve all experienced it.  So, now seems like a good time to get an action plan together to pre-empt overwhelm and self-neglect.

Give yourself the gift of SELF CARE

Be specific in the self-care plan you prescribe for yourself by determining what, how often and when you will do something that is entirely devoted to you.

• What things do you currently do to practice self care?
• What might you add, revise or eliminate to optimize your well-being?
• How frequently do you take time out for yourself? Is it enough? Do you need more “me time”?

Review and revise your schedule to find the time for you.  That might mean saying no, or not now, to other people’s requests and any self-assigned tasks that have been standing in the way.  If you are not doing anything (or not enough) for yourself,  you need to schedule it in like you would any other important appointment and stick with it – no matter what!

Try making this plan not just for the December rush. Self-care should be a daily ritual.  And it doesn’t have to be any longer than 2 – 3 minutes to make a difference. Sometimes, the simplest way to do this is to take time out to breathe.

Furthermore, reassess your self-care plan monthly (or at least quarterly) to be sure it’s working for you.  In that way, it will help keep it top of mind and move you to making it a regular habit.

Need Help?

On that note, if you need some guidance implementing self-care and/or movement into your lifestyle, I’m offering a 4-week wellness coaching package at a fraction of the usual cost. For $199, we’ll work together one-on-one where you will:

• Learn practical wellness tips that are easy to apply to your day-to-day life
• Develop new lifestyle practices that help you tune into your body’s natural needs for nourishment and movement
• Reshape your well-being in a way that works for you

Includes:

• Initial consult, complimentary
• 4 – weekly private PT or yoga sessions in the home
• 4 – weekly one-on-one coaching calls
• Program cards with detailed exercise instructions
• Unlimited email support
• And MORE
• Valued at over $500

This Holiday promo only comes around once a year and there are just a handful of spots available. Contact Michelle today to see if the Define Me Way is right for you.

The post It’s That Time of Year Again! appeared first on Define Me Wellness.